Billy the Ex-Bethelite

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Posts by Billy the Ex-Bethelite

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  95

  Introduction and a note on several posts here

  by LizO in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hey people,.

  as for myself, after extensive study i have concluded that it's not possible for me to trust the bible and so i am not active anymore.

  however, let me please add something to the discussions here:.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Welcome LizO!

  I'll just mention that most of us here have seen WT and JWs from different angles. Eyewitnesses may all see the same incident, but give very different accounts of the event.
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  32

  exJW Psychology 104--One Way to Play the Depression Card

  by Billy the Ex-Bethelite in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i had an interesting conversation with bobby (*some names have been changed) last weekend.

  he's also a successful fader going back several years before me.

  but i found we had something in common that i hadn't realized.. bobby had never been particularly happy growing up.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  sd-7: "The only good thing that came out of TTATT was that I now know a little more than I did before."

  And you've started some of the funniest threads on this forum! I'm sorry that you're stuck (for lack of a better word) in the situation you're in. And I certainly wouldn't want this thread to cause you to feel depressed about your circumstances. Learning TTATT has made you incredibly smarter and a better person. Although I can't actually prove those words to be literally true, I reserve the right of poetic license in my threads. Your comments reminded me of another point I'd like to include in this thread... maybe tomorrow.

  eyeuse2:"as dubs we are told that; "we are the happiest people on earth". y is it that i don't know many dubs that fit that description?"

  First, WELCOME to JWN!

  Second, "happiest people on earth" is just advertising spin by WT. And since it is often pointed out to them that so many JWs aren't really happy, they pull out the slogan, "'worldly' people often seem happy, but only JWs are truly joyful!" It's all a lot of word play to hide the reality of unhappiness and anti-depressant usage by JWs. I wish you success in your fade!

  Rebecca: "he was dfd because hes gay i was soo devasted he is very depressed i dont want to put preasure on him to come back and cause him to have more anguish i love my son with all my heart so confused"

  First, WELCOME to you, too!

  Second, don't put pressure on your son to go back. Clearly, the condemnation and hatred that he's experienced at the Hall hasn't "cured" his homosexuality. It's not something that needs to be "cured", judged, or condemned.

  We need to remember that when Jesus was asked which commandment was the greatest, he did NOT say, "we need to be really judgmental and punish people into conformity." Neither did he say, "the most important thing is to force people to live by a long list of do's and don't's." Nor did he say, "we need to shame people if they don't fit into a particular mold, we need to be breaking up families by decisions made in secret meetings in windowless rooms." Rather, Jesus said to love God and love your neighbor. Those are simple words, but that's not something JWs are prepared to do. They take that simple command "love" and have to complicate it with a bunch of rather hateful rules. When you carefully look at what WT teaches and practices, they aren't concerned with loving God, they're more concerned about speaking for him... and putting judgmental and hateful words in God's mouth. JWs claim that their preaching shows love for their neighbors, but don't be deceived. JWs pray for the day that rocks will fall from the sky and kill all their neighbors, hardly something that qualifies as loving their neighbor.

  It's very good that you love your son just the way God made him. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. He is a special gift that was given to you. Now he needs help so that he can get over his depression and lead a happy and productive life. If he can get professional counselling, that would be great. If he would be interested in joining this forum, he could meet others here that have suffered from depression and/or been disfellowshipped. Perhaps then he wouldn't feel such pain.
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  32

  exJW Psychology 104--One Way to Play the Depression Card

  by Billy the Ex-Bethelite in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i had an interesting conversation with bobby (*some names have been changed) last weekend.

  he's also a successful fader going back several years before me.

  but i found we had something in common that i hadn't realized.. bobby had never been particularly happy growing up.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Thanks for the comments!

  As mentioned on this thread and on this recent one, leaving WT can cause a great deal of stress, anxiety, and depression down the road. In my personal observations, I found the distress of leaving was something rather temporary compared to the nearly constant gloom of being a JW.

  Something else I've often wrote about, but think it's worth doing again, is the "self-destruct mechanism" that is implanted in JW minds by WT Corp. It's expected that anyone that begins missing meetings is going to crash and burn. As pictured in the recent "Prodigal Son" DVD, as soon as the son gets a "worldly" job with "worldly" people and moves out of his parents house, his life falls apart. Plenty of other examples are cited where the one leaving gets into drugs, catches diseases, or otherwise has their life "go completely off the rails." Sure, it happens sometimes... and that's EXACTLY what WT wants. They don't want those that leave to have happy and productive lives. That wouldn't be good for their business model. So this thinking, and the examples that they use, have trained us that if we even think about leaving, we will "self-destruct." We will have no hope, no purpose, and certainly no chance at the happifying joy that we had as JWs.

  More later... I'm off to have some fun in the city.
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  17

  Watchtower Dumps Chemical Waste in Shawangunk

  by villagegirl in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  revelation 11:18 that "god will destroy those who.

  destroy the earth.

  do you believe that polluters will literally be destroyed ?.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Watchtower has been dumping spiritual waste on entire nations during the course of the last 135 years.
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  32

  exJW Psychology 104--One Way to Play the Depression Card

  by Billy the Ex-Bethelite in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i had an interesting conversation with bobby (*some names have been changed) last weekend.

  he's also a successful fader going back several years before me.

  but i found we had something in common that i hadn't realized.. bobby had never been particularly happy growing up.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  I had an interesting conversation with Bobby (*some names have been changed) last weekend. He's also a successful fader going back several years before me. But I found we had something in common that I hadn't realized.

  Bobby had never been particularly happy growing up. He admitted that when a high school teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he replied, "Happy." He hated giving talks, preaching, and all the other stuff required of the young brothers who were "reaching out." He didn't want to do any of it, but because he was in a JW family, he had to play along. During the time after I moved away to slave in bethel, he began his fade. During the brief era when WT lightened up on "higher education," he left his crappy, going-nowhere job and went to university to get a degree. During this time he became inactive and got on with his life. And he became happy. It was enough of a transformation that when his mother would try to "encourage" him to attend, he could truthfully say, "but I'm happy now." And since they weren't a particularly die-hard JW family and had already lost some of their members to disfellowshipping, they're glad to take him as he is.

  My story is different because I did all the stuff that young brothers were supposed to do. I did it well. I was accepted to bethel. I "slaved my way up" to what would have been considered a very prestigious position with lots of "privileges" (which is just another word for more unpaid work). But I was so terribly depressed that I let it all unravel. Perhaps I'll tell more details another time. But I had gotten to be so messed up that my parents were really, really worried about me. After I got out of bethel, I was somewhat "better." At least I got back to having some humor, but I was still really dark. And I made a lot of "Debbie Downer" remarks:

  • What's the use of ___________, it's all going to get destroyed soon.
  • To think that I could have had a career, married, and had kids by now. Instead I'm broke and alone.
  • The news of _________ disaster is so sad, but I suppose we'd better get used to the idea of billions of little children getting slaughtered.

  I wasn't a downer all of the time, but enough that the point was understood. I'd done everything a JW kid was supposed to do, but I'd been betrayed. If I would have done less "spiritually", I could have had a life. And my comments also shed light on the notion that long bothered me, that in order for me to enjoy a panda-petting paradise, billions of people would have to be slaughtered.

  Bobby and I have the same next step... we faded and became happy. As I mentioned in my other thread, I still have a good relationship with my parents. Actually, I think I have a better relationship with them now because I'm much happier now.

  So in comparing notes with Bobby, we found that we both had played the depression card, and done it very honestly. We made it very clear that we were depressed BEFORE we faded. However, the antidote was discovered... we both faded from the miserable world of WT slavery and enjoyed a miraculous cure. The brothers can't get away with the line, "you'd have a much happier and more successful life if you came back." Like I want to go back to listen how billions of innocent people will die very soon because I couldn't convince them to worship the BG by reading some colorful little magazines? That is NOT happifying.

  And frankly, I think my parents find the JW treadmill increasingly depressing, but they can't give up the carrot of everlasting life with the pandas and the resurrection. The meetings have become beatings to do more and to give more. The COs are burdensome. The assemblies are reminders that another year has passed without the promised big A and they can visit to find out who's died since the last time, or whose kids have also "left da troof." At least the way it's been recently, they seem to be happy not to talk about "spiritual stuff" and talk about "normal stuff" instead.

  Let's hear your comments...
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  90

  Can this logic be refuted?

  by notsurewheretogo in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i was an elder until march 2012 until i resigned.

  i then stopped going to meetings in october 2012 and have enjoyed 9 months of freedom that i have found to be jouful!

  i loved learning ttatt and sites like this and jwfacts.com have been excellent.. i told the elders that i needed a break and that they should not contact me unless it was a social visit and true to their word they have done that.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  NSW2G: "What would they come back at me with?"

  The CO and a judicial committee.

  I thought all the elders were my friends. Yet the very ones that I'd earlier been quick to help out of problems, were the first ones to see to it that I was removed as an elder at the first flimsy opportunity they could find. I describe those events here.

  Although I used certain doctrinal issues before and after my fade, I found that I had to do it very carefully. I did this thread about it:
  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/254990/1/exJW-Psychology-102-How-to-Ask-a-Question-When-Questions-Arent-Allowed
  I have some other things to add to that thread, and will try to remember to do that soon.

  And if the time comes for any difficult talks, remember to keep your cool.

  Well, I think I've plugged enough of my old threads, but it saves me from retyping the same tired stories. LOL
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  87

  Do you think "Blondie" is addicted to reading Watchtowers and Awakes?

  by booker-t in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i remember when i was a "devout" jws i could not wait to get the new watchtowers and awakes from the wednesday nite theocratic ministry school.

  i would actually salivate thinking of the new information jehovah had in the magazines for us.

  i was "franatical" and i would go home still in my three piece suit and devour the magazines that very nite.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Once I filled in for her and did "comments you won't hear": http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/bible/166530/1/Billys-Comments-You-Might-Hear-at-the-10-12-08-WT-Study-MAINTAIN-LOYALTY

  Blondie and her insightful comments were extremely valuable to me when I was first trying to untangle my brain from the bOrg. She and her comments are still extremely useful to me so that I know what my family is hearing at the WT study. I don't comment on "WT comments" as often as I used to, but I always read the threads. She doesn't attend the meetings or assemblies, and she certainly isn't a publisher. My wise and astute observation is that she can let go of Watchtower, but she wants to help others let go, too.

  If you're going to pick on somebody, why don't you pick on me? Blondie's an angel of deliverance from WT bondage for many on this forum. I'm just a pain in the a$s that should be getting ready for next semester instead of starting verbose and preachy threads like this, this, and this.
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  26

  NEW NWT'S Distributed at 2013 Conventions?

  by TheSnarkyApologist in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  chatter on the street is that there exists a very high possiblility of the new newworld translation being distributed.

  it comes from a reliable sources, but who knows.

  has anyone heard anything about this?.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Splash, that's the best explanation I've heard yet!
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  97

  Are You Interested In Religion Of Any Sort At This Point In Your Life?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  personally, i respect that everyone has choices to believe whatever they want to believe.

  i have no interest in joining another religion....what about you?.

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  I've thought about visiting the local Unitarian church to check it out.
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  39

  Running out of ideas, please help

  by truthhurts13 in

  1. social
  2. humour

  ok, i hate to admit this but, im running out of ideas of things to do to the local jaydubs.

  i mean yeah, knockin on their doors and showing up and taking books from the kh is fun and all, but kinda gettin stale.

  my next big one is gonna be at the next memorial, where im gonna wear a big wool jacket and top hat as i chug the wine and eat the bread, then stand up and yell "praise the lord im healed!

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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  "Only don't make the name/address one of the elders."

  Use the names of the bit@hy elders' wives instead.

  "Write the local CO a lengthy letter explaining how you believe that your dog has a demon inside him/her."

  That reminds me, I've been meaning to send a request for a free home Bible study for the neighbors dog.

  https://www.jw.org/en/free-bible-study/

  Won't the neighbors be surprised when JWs knock on their door asking to speak to Bailey. I hope they call when the neighbors could respond, "well, he's taking a crap in the back yard, but if you want to talk to him, come around the side of the house.

  I'd be fine with it becoming a JW dog. Then I could tell it I'm DFd, so maybe it would stop barking at me every time I go outside.